In this type of review, I tend to focus on the sheer horror of the writing. I have trouble conceiving of how a professional writer can look at a script containing more fat jokes than plot points and shamelessly call it his own. So this time, for sake of both expediency and variety, I'll focus the bulk of the article upon the acting. I’d rather not spend too much time dissecting the narrative of this experiment in mediocrity.

"Year One" can be swiftly summarized with two words: wasted potential. Any scriptwriter with a cynical bone in his body can imagine the potential greatness of a comedy highlighting the clash between biblical interpretation of early history and basic logic. A bolder film could have highlighted the greater theological questions our society dodges like cannon fire. Instead, we get a celebration of narrative and comedic clichés.

The largest problem with "Year One" and many other films involving so-called comedy "powerhouses" is simple. Jack Black and Michael Cera are capable of portraying a single character: Jack Black and Michael Cera. This gets old at mach speed.

I like to think that acting is the one area of cinema where I can’t be accused of being overly pretentious. But I draw the line here. A professional actor has to at least make a salutary effort to do more than paste the same cardboard-cutout personality onscreen in each movie he has the undeserved fortune of being cast in.

I’m taking a moment here to address the executives, producers, and directors of the United States of America. I have a single, humble request. Please stop blitzing us with the blank, inoffensive visage of Michael Cera. Next time you want to make a vaguely indy film, simply steal a mannequin. If you have any concept of mercy, make the upcoming “Scott Pilgrim” adaptation the last time I have to see his eminently punchable face.

While I’m angry at Michael Cera's continued existence, I'm simply disappointed in Jack Black. He has that rare quality theoretical physicists refer to as "genuine comedic talent", a trait slightly harder to find than the Ark of the Covenant. And he continues to star in drek like this. This goes double for David Cross, who stars as a thinly characterized Cain. When the brain behind Mr. Show jumps from “Alvin and the Chipmunks” to "Year One", something is very wrong with the world.

I can't claim that "Year One" is the worst film to come out in ages. In fact, it’s not even the worst movie to come out in the last two weeks (that honor goes to “Transformers 2”).But it is a lazy film, where everyone involved in the writing and acting clearly phoned it in. The end result is an ultimately predictable mess that wastes a strong core concept. It’s a movie that clearly doesn’t respect the audience, and should receive no respect in turn.