Darkseid
Let the power of Darkseid’s fists
Crush my enemies.
Let the power of the anti-life equation
Allow me to finish this math homework.
Fuck Superman.

Nyarthlotep
Yes…soon…
It’s all coming together…
All part of the plan.

Farore
Wait, so Din let’s me burn my enemies,
And Nayru grants an unbreakable shield,
But All you give me is this useless crap?
This is bullshit. Amen.

Khorne:
ARGH!
KILL! SHOW THEM! SHOW THEM ALL!
Bloodbloodbloodbloodblood
;KL:JSLFJSLJDLF

Thor:
May the strength of your series reboot prevail
In the face of editorial mandate and crossover fail.
Can I shoot lightning from my hands now?

Xenu:
Please give me my money back.

Heironeous
This +4 Holy Avenger is nice and all…
But why not the full +5?
Might as well go all the way.

Melkor
Dark lord,
Empower me to finish the Silmarillion.
The prose here is like a history textbook.

Ormagoden
Give me strength of character, by which I mean metal,
to play sixteenth notes up and down the same scale
Until my fan base catches on.

Zeus
Mighty One,
Taking one of my daughters, I could understand.
Two, and I get annoyed.
But all eight?
Thou art getting greedy.

Galactus
Do you really want to eat my planet?
There’s more nuclear waste here than soil,
Some of us haven’t washed in years,
The Western Hemisphere is drenched in saturated fat,
and I guarantee that Detroit will taste like fried dung.

1/20/2010