As resident deluded psychic, I’ve received a new set of blurred visions of the future. Never underestimate the value of a budget crystal ball.

After a period of hyperinflation, the pet rock will become the official currency of North America.

In 1d20 years, Gary Gygax will return as a 15th level lich.

Do. Not. Invest. In. Hallmark.

A young fantasy author will make millions off of a series inspired by a series of lewd mad-libs.

Grand Theft Auto 6 shall feature the groundbreaking "parole" mode, wherein the player tries to hold down a steady job and stay out of trouble.

There will be a degree of controversy over a Japanese textbook depicting the "Picnic of Nanjing".

Seriously, do not invest in Hallmark. Things will happen. Unspeakable things. Things that drive sane men into the abyss.

The advent of the personal teleporters will lead to a sharp in suicides among carjackers.

The use of innovation and ergonomics as game console design buzzwords will culminate in a controller consisting entirely of a pullstring and green button. Plastic guitar optional.

Gilbert Godried will reclaim his dignity with his heroic exploits in the fifth World War.

Your children will live to see Duke Nukem Forever. You won't.

Neo-industrialization drives the price of the average mini-gun to ten dollars and leads to the invention of the lightsaber. Overpopulation ceases to be an issue.