I've been gone for a while. But there's a fair reason.

You see, I've finally done it. The impossible, the unthinkable. There were times when I thought it would never really happen.

I've exited America’s public education system without committing homicide.

I can't count the hurdles along the way, the number of moments that I’ve been tempted. The times a cafeteria worker has looked me in the eye and told me a wrap is worth five USD. The endless sea of unfunny puns and pop culture references that poured from the mouths of wannabe class clowns. The pep rallies. The painfully unsubtle backhanded comments from Neanderthals. The raw incompetence every student seemed to approach every problem with.

But now it's over. I've exited the hive without a single beating, stabbing, shooting, or nuking. I'm truly a modern day saint.

To celebrate, I'll be moving back to the bi-weekly updates of the early days. I should also be updating the current layout to be what laymen call "tolerable to the human eye" in the next two months.