Setting :a very special corporate office in New York City. Two men sit across from each other. One wears the unnaturally wide grin copyrighted by actors and the mad. The other is visibly frightened.

Hyperion: Hello, good morning, and other assorted generic greetings. Thank you for taking the time to give me an interview.

DC Comics Executive: I had to. You’ve left a phone message every hour, on the hour for three months.

H: Follow up calls are important.

D: You also stalked several executives, kidnapped my secretary, and left cryptic messages in blood in the break room.

H: It was a Riddler reference. You get it, right?

D: I must have missed something. In what issue did the Riddler leave ransom notes in human blood?

H: Details. Have you looked over my resume? It’s fantastic.

D: Yes. It seems you have an ivy league degree…in a completely unrelated field. In addition, the only writing samples you included were ransom notes from other crimes.

H: Note the natural flow of the ransom notes, and subtle use of iambic pentameter.

D: Right. Anyway, purely as a technicality: what do you have to offer to DC comics?

H: I didn’t write Countdown.

D: Good start.

H: That isn’t enough? Tough crowd.

D: You’ve got to show us you're qualified.

H: But I’m me! The center of the universe!

D: And what are you to us?

H: To us I’m me, who else?

D: I don’t mean the us that is you and me, but the us that is me and them?

H: Well it doesn’t matter, I’m me to me, me to you, and me to them, so it fits for all forms of us.

D: Wait…what were we talking about?

H: You were hiring me.

D: Sounds plausible enough, with no need for further questioning. Welcome to the team!

H: Team? I’m more of a “black hole of attention to inflate my galaxy-sized ego” type.

D: That won’t do. Here at DC, we share all success and failure.

H: Wait, wouldn’t that make me tangentially responsible for Amazon’s Attack?

D: I suppose you can look at it that way.

H: I’d rather be called a Nazi collaborator.

D: Hey, at least we didn’t print Ultimatum.

H: Good counterpoint.

D: Alright newbie, let’s put you to work on a monthly. Here’s a list of open titles, any catch your eye?

H: It doesn’t particularly matter.

D: What?

H: I don’t care what book I’m assigned to. I just have…a proposal. One universal condition.

D: Go on.

H: DC has a vast archive of great characters under its belt. Iconic heroes and villains, with a rich shared history. I simply wish to resurrect the greatest of them. A god among kings.

D: Sounds good.

H: This is the return that will re-energize not only this company, but the entire comics industry. A character elegant in concept, and blindingly amazing in execution.

D: Cut to the chase.

H: I want to bring back Snowflame, the cocaine-powered supervillain.

D: Oh god. You’re serious, aren’t you.

H: I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. I have a whole two year story arc planned out, involving his rivals Captain Coke and the Crack Commandos. It’s a study of the human condition. And drug-fueled superpowers.

D: Alright. You can bring back Snowflame, as long as you can tenuously tie it into our next overblown continuity-murdering crossover event.

H: Deal. By the way, I’m making Cassandra Cain Batgirl again. Even if I have to kill everyone in this building to do it.